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| What you missed out on |
| 01.11.04 (10:11 am) [edit] |
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awhh. did i throw you guys off on the last blog??...Good! lol. I dyed and cut my hair. This morning. And went to Walmart and bought a camera. And took pictures in the store. [url=http://img9.photobucket.com/a...]Here's[/url] a pic. Cool, huh? I *heart* it. And thats about the only thing I heart right about now. And yes, I am licking a lava lamp. *shrug* [url=http://img9.photobucket.com/a...]Here's[/url] another one. Dude. That hat was 5 fucking dollars. so i didn't buy it. Well im off. later.
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| Watch my life flash before my eyes |
| 01.10.04 (4:21 pm) [edit] |
you're a bacon and onion stuffed grilled trout with horseradish-dill sauce.
you really wanted to hurt me
you really wanted to make me cry
Razorblades and kisses
50 thousand tears i've cried
screaming deceiving and bleeding for you
still you wont hear me
"I love you"
"If you died right now. You know that i'd die too."
love was made for you and me
You are so last summer
Maybe I should hate you for this. Never really did get that far.
It's over.
The stars will cry the blackest tears tonight
Love is an excuse to get hurt
And to hurt
Do you like to hurt?
Until the day I die
I spill my heart for you
You remind me of the times when I knew who I was
"Will you marry me?"
Christmas alone
New years alone
"You're beautiful"
"Fruit loopin fuck"
.X.Miss America.X.
Like Violence, you have me. Forever and after.
With this ring you will be mine.
With this ring I multiply
Continuesly putting the same but different guys names next to hearts made out of an arrow and a three.
Cheese and rice
Warped Tour 03
Chineese food
"it was positive"
Happy New Years!!
You are the blood running through my veins
Cut. Me. So. You. Can. Escape.
Disneyland
Cheating
Lies
Trust
Honesty
California
Maryland
Foo Fighters
Weddings
Divorce
Joely-Moely.com
AIM
Ice cream nights
Bestfriends means I pulled the trigger
Bestfriends. Worst thing. You've been cheating. Friend decieves you leave
"Im sorry"
"How could you?"
Give me a chance
And one by one i'll prove you wrong
" Im pregnant"
"im changing my vote. will you like to be the babys godmother?"
"what would I do without you?"
thats the thing. you couldn't.
" im really starting to believe that"
"You're awesome!!"
" You and your corny quotes"
" I wanna feel through you tonight"
"He's going to hurt you"
Heart break
Breaking hearts
LOVE
------ Just watching my life flash before my eyes------
[So. Much. I. Fucking. Regret]
(..and so much I wouldn't change for the world..)
-Joslen
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| Fuck my name. Fuck my face. I dont exist. |
| 01.08.04 (6:15 pm) [edit] |
So. Im single. again. :roll:
Im going back to Maryland. Today, thats asap. I miss my dog. and Work. yes. i miss work. I'll be working the cash register tho when i get really big, it'll be boring, but oh well. I miss my doggy too. And Joel, and Benji. And.. everyone else in MD. My mom. My sister. My dad. My car. My kitty. My LIFE! lol. I cant wait. Red eye flight as always. Im on my way to the airport. I hope the flight isn't a stupid ass one. with old ladys snoring and crappers. *shudder* When I get there, Benj and I are hanging out. As friends. I know I have to clear that up because people start jumping into conclusions. Anyways, we'll catch up on good ole times and stuff. When life actually made sense. nyeh. im going. seeya.
Its me and the moon
And I've got [u][b]no[/b][/u] problem with that
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| Bestfriends means I pulled the trigger |
| 01.06.04 (4:52 pm) [edit] |
im blogging. for...no reason. just because of the new song. i guess. whoop dee fucking doo. lol.
[i]And I'll miss
Your laugh
Your smile
I'll admit
Im wrong
If you'd tell me
Im so sick of fights
I hate them
Lets start this again
For real
So here I am im trying
So here I am are you ready?
So here I am im trying
So here I am are you ready?
Come on let me hold you
touch you
feel you
Always
Kiss you
Taste you
All night
Always[/i]
"Always"
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| You.Are.So.Yesterday. |
| 01.04.04 (12:39 pm) [edit] |
*dances* Im dating Andrew, Im dating Andrew. And you're nottt. neener neener neener. *cough* <3>
Oy Vay. People begging for love. lol. Keith, K5, you're narrly. not gnarrly. or. narrly. gnarrly. rawr. lmao. You rock. you're so tottaly narrly. And Jess,oh Jess, Jess, Jess. Jesse. Jessica. lol. okay. Hm. I heart you. And Im not mean. :D .
For shits and giggles, Calla and I have a new hobby. Its repeating blink 182 lyrics. This weeks song is [u]Down.[/u]. so.. here it is. well. my fave part.
[i]The drops of rain they fall all over
This awkward silence makes me crazy
The glow inside burns light upon her
I'll try to kiss you if you let me
(this can't be the end)
Tidal waves they rip right through me
Tears from eyes worn cold and sad
Pick me up now, I need you so bad
Down down down down
Down down down down
It gets me so
Down down down down
Down down down down
It gets me so[/i]
<3 Calla.>
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| Love reflecting everything |
| 01.02.04 (6:09 pm) [edit] |
okay so I was wrong. William and I are over. He dumped me. So. Yes. Hello. Im Joslen and im single. Wanna date? lol JK. Oh God JK. please dont take that seriously you guys. Okay, thanks.ha.
Okay. Im sorry. I forgot to fucking share the love for everyone. But shit, its not like I get any love from you guys lol. And Joel took advantage of that love. So no more love for him for awhile. Okay. So lets see. who did i forget to share love for. Oh. Billy, you big baby. lol. jk. I love you!! And you know Everyone else does. So.. Yeah. I heart you. And Tony, bitch, I love you. I really dont know how you could possibly think I didn't, but yeah, I love you!
Vanessa has a blog. Go visit her. All I know is that she's dating Joel. Poor Girl. lol. jk. Joel is awesome. And I still need to meet her. but I do intend to so... yep.
You know what this blog is? Blahness. Yeah. Its Blahness. I officially knight this blog its own label. [b]Blahness.[/b]Okay. Heart. Not here. Forgive me.
I love Katie. We're Bottle Buddys. lmao. :D
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| im blogging. now where the fuck is my trophy? |
| 12.31.03 (8:36 pm) [edit] |
hello hello hello. Happy New Years. woooo. lol.
Ok. William and I broke up. But we're back togther. And I love confusing you people. But this is going to stay like this. Soo... yeah. :D
Aha. These smilie's rock. *cough* Joely has a blog. YAY!! go visit him. Because you love him. And I love him. And.. yeah. Did I mention I love him? well.... I do. Hey, I love Joel. Okay. Enough Obsessing lol. Its all in good friend love. See Joel! I did what you told me to do! :D
Anyways...Whats up?? lol. Im blogging because people were begging me to. And I should probaly ramble. Because im sick of short blogs. So... Here it goes. Benji (whom I still have to link. dont worry bro, I will) and Joel were all talking about twin incest. When Joel first told me, my mind went blank. I forgot what incest was. Then he told me. I felt so blonde (no offence to any blonde people out there). Joel and I go way back, so when we get together, its madness. We did an ATR replay. lol. Remember Joel? We both said "brb" and then we said "back" and kept on doing it over and over again. It was hilarious. He's funny. And then I like making fun of him. Like about the dvd. The "im a video director, whats that slappy thing?" lol. He gets mad. But I think its funny. So shut up Joel. You know I love you. Then we start talking about all the pictures of him grabbing his crotch. And im the female version of Benji huh Joel!??! lol. God forgot to make me his sis. He gave him Benj. lol. and I do love you Benji. :D [b]And I love Calla too!![/b]
ya'll like my rambling? good. :D seeya.
[b][edit] [/b]Andrew.is.awesome.Andrew.is.awesome.
Andrew.is.awesome.
Andrew.is.awesome. Happy?! ?!?! lol [b][/edit][/b]
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| Merry Christmas. |
| 12.25.03 (4:24 pm) [edit] |
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!! Im here in Cali spending Xmas with [b]MY[/b] William. So you'll have to get your gift from me on like New Years. Yupp.
I dont want to end this entry but I have nothing else to say. Im really that boring aren't I? Oh well.
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| I want to tell the world I love you. |
| 12.22.03 (5:38 pm) [edit] |
so many,many people getting blogssss. I'll link you later Vinnie.
Soo...... How is everyone? lol. You want an explination, go to Jesse's blog. But im no longer a part of one persons life. And thats good because now its less the drama. But she does need to shut her faggetty ass mouth up. You're going to get your ass kicked when I get back. :evil:
You know, I wanted to come to Disneyland to escape all this drama. But no. Vinnie, Hallie, and Jesse just bring drama wherever they go. lol. So i've kinda seperated myself from them lol. Its not that I dont like yall, but you need to work our whatever problems you guys have. And im not mean Vinnie. :(
Guess what? Williams here!! yay!!! <333>
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| I love the way you look at me |
| 12.19.03 (11:10 pm) [edit] |
wow. look. no comments. go me! haha. And indeed is this blog getting boring. :roll:
So im in Cali. Oh, lovely, lovely Cali *cough*. haha. Jess is actually sleeping right now and I should be too. But oh well.haha. Chris is flying down here tomorrow *jumps* We're gonna be here for 5 days *holds up five fingers* thats a whole lot of Disneyland! haha. Yay.
As you know, or at least should know, William's with Brooke. *pout* I miss him. I hated watching him leave for the planee. but of course im the selfish girlfriend that doesn't want to share her man, right? yeah. tssh!! *sobs*
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| One look. Thats all it took. <33. |
| 12.17.03 (8:33 pm) [edit] |
ok, ok, im blogging Katie. sheesh. haha. There's only really one reason I can blog about. I usually dont blog unless I have something to blog about. Yeah, I got that technique from you Chris. haha. Well... here it goes. Im pregnant. YEPP!! I think you guys already know tho. Dude, thats sad, yall are finding out from people other then the people who are having the baby. *shakes head* Thats what I get for not blogging haha. This isn't like one of those suprise pregnancys. We were planning to have a baby. Which is more then any of you can say. And im going. Short blog but oh well. And i'd be ready for my mood-swings. Im going to be the most miserable pregnant lady until I know for sure my baby's healthy. *big smile* laters.
I love you, William. <3333>
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| I love you, William. |
| 12.12.03 (11:21 am) [edit] |
If you haven't heard yet, Im engaged.YUP!! Im sure most of you guys know tho because some people knew that I didn't even know knew!!...um.. bare with me people. haha.
I hate drama. And yes Chris, there is drama!! haha. I just didn't feel like explaining anything. And if you pick me up and swing me around again I swear i'll kick your ass. haha.*ahem* Back to the drama. Lets see, between car accidents,people longing for attention, broken hearts, x-tina getting a boob job-- I mean. *cough* haha. But seriously, she so did get a boob job. *shakes head* Chrissy, she still has nothing on you haha.She's fake. ok. enough of X-tina.Oh! Chris, I have a new word. *nods* You need to call me duder.
William is going to Brookes for *squints one eye* ...ehh...5 days? Yeah. 5 days. Since he's feeling all "poo-ish" haha. Of course, why would you spend time with your fiance when you're feeling down, right? hahaha JK. But, since he's going to be there for 5 days I figured I can go do something also. I just dont know what. haha. Maybe I can go on the Europe tour. Benj said Im welcome if I wanted to go. I can stay there for the whole tour! haha. Even tho it already started, he said I can go. how nice. haha.
And for everyone that wanted to know what I wanted for Christmas, I want a shirt just like the one im wearing right here. Not JUST like it, but you get what im saying.
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| Lordy, Lordy (haha Calla) |
| 12.07.03 (11:03 am) [edit] |
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Drama, Drama.
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| Im still wishing it was me. |
| 12.04.03 (9:08 am) [edit] |
Yesterday was really cool. Chuck came over and he spent the whole day here. No, serioulsy, he was here at 5:00 am in the morning and left at midnight!! Now thats what you call a friend. Friends dont go cheating on their [b][u]bestfriends boyfriend[/u][/b]. Anyways, thanks chuck oodles! Oodles? I've been hanging around Calla waaay to much. hah.
Lets see, what else did I do yesterday? Oh. I called alot of people. ALOT. It was so cool. I called Pierre, Tony, Jere, David, Benj, and Joel. Lots more but, *shrug*. I talked to Benj and Joel about the DVD. It came out on the 2nd! I was so caght up in things I forgot to tell ya. I know for sure it came out in California. Im not sure about everywhere else. Its really funny. Im gonna give a little bit of it away. So if you dont want me to ruin your suprise I suggest you skip the next part:
Joel: I have this picture of me, benj, and sam(a director) with that thing *flaps hands together* what is it called?
Sam: The slate?
Joel: Slate. Yeah the slate. And I was so excited just to do that little glimps of--
Benji: *interrupts Joel* Hi Im a director, whats that flappy thing? *flaps hands together faster then joel did*. hahah. The slate.
Joel: *laughs sarcasticaly* haha Shut up.
Benji: Just kidding. *smiles*
Funny. YUPP. I laughed so hard. haha. They're the biggest dorks in the world.
Anyways, when I said I wasn't ever going to fall inlove again, what I meant was that I'd make sure they love me before I say "I love you" or anything. I fall head over heals way to fast. And the word 'love' is said way to much to mean anything. But, if I do fall in love again, it'll be true this time. Im going to make sure Im not going to get hurt before giving my whole heart away. Life lessons folks. Life lessons..
I'm lost in a dream
That will never be
Closing my eyes
Wishing it were me
The one that you hold
When you turn out the light
The one that you kiss
By the stars of the night
Wishing mine were the eyes
That you gazed into
As you softly whisper
[b][u]I love you[/u][/b]
But this is just a dream
That will never be
But it will remain in my heart
Still wishing it were [u][b]me[/b][/u]
If you know who you are, im still sad you left.
But i'll fake a smile, cause I know its for the best.
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| Let me tell you something that im sure you never heard of. Tender love and care. |
| 12.03.03 (9:51 am) [edit] |
yesterday Tony came overr. Him and Calla went to Brookes and stuff to put up christmas lights and after that he came over. He said he felt like he had been a shitty friend and that he wanted to make it up to me. And he has been a shitty friend, by the way. heheh. Im kidding tony, you know I love you. But, yeah, he came over and we just hung out. Like old times. Before he even knew Calla and before he was going to be a dad. And tony, you really should tell her. Not that its my place to be or anything but, yeah, just tell her. Oh wait, what do I know about love, right? tshh.
Yesterday was very crazy. I put my christmas lights up by myself and every five seconds it was like an "ouch!""bitch!""fuck!" i even said "hell mother fuckin bitch!" from all the needles from the ornaments for my tree. haha. It was fun but I got hurt. ohs wells. People tend to like to hurt me. I wonder why...*shrug*
Last night William told me he loved me and that he couldn't live without me. And as much as I would love to believe that, I cant. If he loved me, he wouldn't have cheated on me. And especially not with my bestfriend. And Angela dont try to deny it because I have proof from everyone. Im sick and tired of people hurting me. Its like I dont have any feelings and im just some object they can toy around with. Well Im not. Im an actual human being who has feelings. Im not sure if you've ever heard of 'feelings' before but everyone has them. You cant toy around with people. You cant play games with their heart. You just cant. And you cant expect me to pretend nothing ever happend, to forget all the words you said about why you did it. As long as you know why you did it and that it was a good enough reason to cheat on the person you 'love'. If it wasn't, well then im sorry, but you're the one who decided to throw everything away. And im not about to go feeling sorry for anyone. I might feel sorry for myself. But thats only because I decided to love something that wasn't even there. You chose to hold onto something that wasn't there also. You decided you were going to hold on to someone that had already found true love, when you could have had me. I cared for you. I loved you. I truly and most thoughtfully did. But, no, apperently you couldn't see that. And hey, oh well, im not the one going to be missing anything. Im the one going to be [u]missed[/u]. You'll miss everything we had, I garuntee it...
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| You dont know what it feels like to be hurt so many times. |
| 12.02.03 (7:03 pm) [edit] |
so lets re-cap, shall we? William cheated. With Angela. My Bestfriend. So, once again, I Joslen Amber Murray has been cheated on.*applauds from the crowd* Why the fuck do guys pick me to play with my heart?!:
[b][u]
Im never falling in love again. This I PROMISE you.[/u][/b]
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| I wont make you |
| 11.30.03 (3:32 pm) [edit] |
Im dating William. Oh yes, the oh so hot and wonderful William. haha. But he truly is hot. He's here today so.... yeah. hah. I think thats about it. Oh wait! Calla has a new layout, and....and my life is boring. oh well. bye.
love always,
Jos <3>
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| I need to FUCK William |
| 11.29.03 (11:58 am) [edit] |
chris and I broke up. We broke up with eachother. Its only obvious he still loves her. I mean, the way she talks about him in her blog and stuff. But chris and I decided to be friends. So.. yeah. YUP.
on other terms, William has a blog!! so go look! *points*
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| Ramones gone Canadian. |
| 11.27.03 (9:38 am) [edit] |
[edit] Go visit [url=http://calla.devility.org/]Calla's[/url] Blog!!! GO!!!][/edit]
As you may know by reading Sam's blog, Chris and I are back together and I cant tell you how happy I am. Oh wait, yes I can. Im [b]REALLY HAPPY!!![/b]. hah. so today he'll fly in from where ever he is right now so we can have a little thanksgiving dinner. We're probaly going to end up going to subway hah. I wanna have one of those sandwiches so I can be bad and say "Its ok. I had Subway for lunch!!!!" hahahaha. Or maybe its only sane to cook on thanksgiving. Im going to have to go buy another turkey. Ack, grocery shoppping *cringe* But whatever we do decide to do, we'll do it together. I love you Chris. <3.>
Chris, now everyone has to know about the Ramones thing. hahaha. OK you guys, if the Ramones were canadian think about how they would sing Blitzkrieg Bop! Hey eh Ho eh Lets eh Go eh!! holy shittt *falls on floor laughing* no offence to any canadians or anything. hahahahahahahahahahahaha.
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| Come home and stop this pain tonight. |
| 11.26.03 (4:11 pm) [edit] |
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i just realized im having thanksgiving dinner by myself. *sigh* so i went grocery shopping.*cringe* I [b]hate [/b]grocery shopping. Seriously, how can anyone enjoy grocery shopping? its so boring. But yeah, I had to buy a small turkey haha. At least it wont take as long to cook. Who knows, maybe i wont even cook. I might just go eat at Carrows or something. I dont know. I'll see. Hell I might not even celebrate thanksgiving this year. Oh who am I fucking. Of course im going to celebrate it. Just by myself this year. Ok well im gonna go. Just thought i'd blog. later.
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| Like violence, you have me. Forever and After. |
| 11.25.03 (9:05 pm) [edit] |
*gasp* im blogging. hah. ok so, i dont really want to blog but i guess its my duty to tell everyone what the fudge is going on. Basically Chris cheated on me. It wasn't the first. I told him to just break up with me and get it over with because i figured thats what he was going to do anyways. I just figured he was leading me on. You know, why walk while you can run. Im not sure what he was trying to do but he really broke my heart. I really do love him. And I obviously dont see myself falling out of love with him ever. He said the same thing about me. But im not sure what to do. He says he loves me but he has feelings for sam too. This just puts everyone in a hectic position. Am I suppose to wait around for him to come back? If thats what it takes to be with him, i'll wait around forever. Who knows, I might even die single. But I truly love chris and i'd do anything for him. But this is a decision he has to make. And only him himself. He has to decide who he truly loves. And well, if its not me. Im not sure what im going to do. But I will always love him. No matter what. My heart belongs to Chris. [b]<3[/b].>
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| did you hear me whisper. |
| 11.23.03 (2:13 pm) [edit] |
x paint me blue: sam called me this morning and she said that chris kissed her..
nyeh.
:cry:
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| Starved for Attention |
| 11.22.03 (10:22 am) [edit] |
andrew is one popular bitch. dude, he got like 87 comments!!! and he's new too. tsh. if I were to post nude pics i still wouldn't have gotten half as many comments!!! arrg.
my burn still hurts. arrg. yes. life rocks. -_-
Theres only one good thing going on in my life right now. And he's sleeping!! hahah. He took my pink hat. I looked ghetto in it anyways.
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| ghetto fabulous |
| 11.20.03 (6:15 pm) [edit] |
I died my hair. It's a lighter brown with blonde and red streaks. I went crazy this time haha. It's more of a pink sorta. Anyways, today I was straight ironing my hair and I burnt my self. it hurts sooo badd. ouch. I only got to do one little part since my hair is naturally curly. I had to wet it and make it curly so it goes with the rest of my hair haha. I think i look better with curly hair. *shrug* Im probaly going to have to stay away from straight irons so I mine as well get used to curly hair again. arrg.
guess what? I look ghetto fabulous in pink hats! hahaha.
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